Toni Aberson

Toni Aberson, beloved mother, English teacher, sea mystic, word maven, gardener, poet, and nana, died January 25th at home. Born December 17, 1937, she was the daughter of Roy (Uriah) Aberson, a teacher, coach, and civil rights activist, and Doris Aberson, a dancer, bohemian and avid reader in Indianapolis. Deeply shaped by her growing up in a cross-cultural and multigenerational family, Toni traveled between Indiana where she lived with gardeners and teachers, and her New York Jewish family and summers at Rockaway Beach. Her two grandmothers Louise Stark and Esther “Bubbe” Aberson also nurtured her as a curious child.

An outstanding student, Toni attended Western College on an academic scholarship. She transferred to Butler University for her senior year to be closer to her parents. A year later, Toni moved to New York City seeking a more cosmopolitan atmosphere. She met Dani Roth, a world traveler, and they soon married. In the following years, Toni gave birth to Eric, enjoyed strolls in the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens, and earned a Master’s degree in English from Brooklyn College.

She returned to Indianapolis in the mid-1960s, where Toni gave birth to Maya and taught art, while living near family. Toni divorced Dani in 1968. She married David Hammer, an English teacher, in 1969, and together they parented a blended family. Their youngest child Ben was born in 1976. Toni and David lived together as spouses for two decades and remained close even after their divorce, until David’s death in 2014.

Toni inspired students as a passionate teacher of elementary through university students. She taught English, Literature and Journalism at Manual High School (in Indianapolis) for 26 years, where she also served as department Chair. She especially enjoyed piloting popular courses on World Religions and Bible as Literature and mentoring students. Toni earned a second MA in Religious Studies during this period.

Toni actively participated in the civil rights, environmental, and peace movements, and sustained those lifelong kinships and values. Later in life, she was Religious Education Director and a teacher for the Unitarian Universalists. In addition, she taught English to adult Russian refugees and Thai Buddhist monks. She co-authored the ESL textbooks Compelling Conversations and Compelling American Conversations (Chimayo Press) which are read in over 60 countries. Further, Toni wrote a book on American idioms called It’s a Breeze and penned a mystery.

And although a gifted teacher, writer and artist, Toni saw mothering as her greatest joy and life work. “After four decades of being a mother, I have no advice. I do, however, have many stories,” she shared in a 2000 guest sermon at her Unitarian Universalist church in Wilmington, North Carolina.

She moved to the Wilmington area upon retirement, inspired that here the Ocean and Rivers meet. She also loved body surfing in the warm ocean water. During her later years, Toni also lived in Redondo Beach, California and Pau, France, with different ones of her children. Toni exuded vitality. A creative force, she reflected deeply, loved traveling, and chose ethics, stability and peace. She was sustained by relationships, including a close circle of friends across thousands of miles.

Toni remained resilient in the face of adversity across her life, including in her final year staving off the ravages of an aggressive late-stage cancer. She saw a collection of her curated poems, Moments, published in 2022.

Toni spent her last week in home hospice, seeing other worlds and living her values of family, spiritual life and a unique combination of inner strength and exceptional generosity. She will be deeply missed and always remembered by generations of relatives, students, and friends.

Toni will live on in her three children Eric H. Roth, a professor at USC and her co-author of the Compelling Conversations books; Maya E. Roth, a professor at Georgetown University and mother to Yul; and Ben Hammer, a financial analyst and father to Li. Other close relatives include her nephew Isaac, honorary sister Lesly Reiss, and extended family, including Laurie A Selik, Bill Talcott and Yi-Hsuan Hammer.

Donations in Toni Aberson’s name can be given to the Karen Beasley Sea Turtle Rescue and Rehabilitation Center ( https://www.seaturtlehospital.org ), the Unitarian Universalist Association (giving.uua.org), or Heifer International (heifer.org). We welcome friends and relatives to share a memory either in person or online at < https://www.waternotfire.com/obituaries/Toni-Aberson/#!/TributeWall >

A celebration of life service will be held on Tuesday, January 31st at 2:00 at the Wilmington Unitarian Universalist church at 4313 Lake Avenue, Wilmington, NC 28403.